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Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Cost of Healing Trauma


 
One of my favorite Authors, Bryan Post, said recently in a training video that trauma has the ability to impact people for the rest of their lives regardless of whether it was a physical trauma or an emotional trauma. Whether the harm came from a wound of omission or wound of commission, we all bear the scars of our past.

As a Mamma to five kids- three biological, who were all born into a loving and supportive environment and two sweet blessings who are originally from Ethiopia, I have firsthand knowledge of how kids behave differently in a number of situations based on their history.

No one escapes a trauma as significant as a separation from a birth parent without causing trauma. Our bodies respond from the trauma by means of coping or dissociating. Coping.
As a Fiesta Family Contact, I sometimes receive very panicked calls from families struggling with the kids they dearly love. These kids, just like my own, have been in a stable environment for several years yet there is very little peace in the home. Their behaviors ebb and flow just like all kids but the contrast is evident. The inability to cope with change. The need to hoard food. The perpetual insecurities that plague their little hearts. The need to never be alone; or, always looking to tune-out. They need structure, routine and grace. It requires a parenting style that is different and often seems illogical.

And yet, in the midst of the constantly changing mystery of therapeutic parenting, there are tiny victories. As years of stability begin to  wrap around their bodies- their bodies are telling them it is ok to let that guard down. And they do so, slowly. Remember our kids are always healing and growing. You are changing the trajectory of their lives, by allowing them the time and patience to go through this grief. As we transition back to school, remember to keep your schedule mellow and calm so that they have space in their lives to process through their trauma. One day, one hour, and one conversation at a time!
*Sarah Sanchez *
505-681-3364
For updated info check out my blog at SanchezSeven.wordpress.com

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