This past weekend, 7 adoptive families met in beautiful Taos for a weekend of camping and a river rafting trip. We all had an amazing time of camping, rafting, sitting around the campfire roasting smores and getting to know one another better.
As a 'Family Contact' with the FEISTA Project, I am able to meet many families and hear their stories. Every familiy has one. Each one is unique and all include an element of loss. Some more than others.
Sunday morning, three of us sat around sharing on a deep personal level. One family shared the pain of loosing a husband/father. As a family, they experienced the pain and power of helping their loved-one pass away with respect and surrounded by love.
The mother also shared all the ups and downs that so many of us have and can experience when we graft wounded children into our hearts and lives. We talked about always remembering how far are children have come and what miracles they are.
At the end of the day, we were saying are good-byes. The one particular mother looked at me and said, "I'm always amazed at what a difference it makes just by Keeping-Going".
Through all our ups and downs, losses and gains, broken dreams and new gains, by us 'Keeping-Going' and not giving up, there is a power ful, non-negotiable message we give to those we love... 'YOU ARE WORTH IT!'
Monday, June 28, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Silver City & Las Cruces picnics
FIESTA Family Picnics !!!
FRIDAY, June 18th @ 'PENNY PARK', Silver City, 6-8:30 pm
SATURDAY, June 19th @ 'PERCHA DAM STATE PARK', 11a-2 pm
(Bring your poles, swimsuits, and fishing liscenses)
FIESTA will provide:
Hamburgers, Hotdogs, the condiments, Water/Sodas, & Paper Products~
Please Bring:
A Side-dish or Dessert to Share, Lawn Chairs, & Sunscreen!
REQUESTING RSVPs: Monica Cohu, 505-235-7261
Friday, June 4, 2010
"I GOT YOUR BACK!:"
The other day I was at the grocery store, with my 4 children. A little girl (around 5 or 6 yrs old) walked up to my 4-year-old daughter and told her that she was 'Stupid' and 'Ugly'. We did not know this girl. My daughter became very quiet.
Immediately, her siblings sprang into action like mini-Super-Heros (in each of their individual ways)! Our 12 year old, who is very cerebral and articulate in his views, picked his 4-year-old sister up and walked over to the mother. He then clearly and unapologetically said, "It's Ok, that blond little girl, standing next to the lotto machine, is very incorrect! You are not 'stupid' or 'ugly'. You are beautiful!"
Next, was our 3-year-old daughter, who is a spit-fire. She was sitting in the grocery cart. She began shaking her finger at the 'unrepentive' blond-girl, "You leave my sis-tur alone".
Then came our athletic 8-year-old son. His chest puffed up, fist clenched, eyes and head going side-to-side, trying to keep him self calm.
The situation was quickly resolved. We experienced a funny drive home pretending to be a bear, a lion, and a tiger; growling at 'UnKind' people. The kids laughed heatedly at one another's different ways they coverd their 4-year-old sister's back.
What a powerful message the kids created that day. "I got your back", has been rolling over and over in my mind ever since that day.
As parents of 'sometimes' difficult kiddos, we spend soo much time in disciplining and trying to get our kids to 'Get It', that we miss a very simple and powerful message.
"I Got Your Back" - Translated: You are Worth Immense Value. I will lay down my rights for you. I love you with all of my heart, mind, and physical being! You CAN count of me!
It is love in action! It is safety put into ways that we all can grasp.
I really want to hear ways all of you create this in your children's lives.
Immediately, her siblings sprang into action like mini-Super-Heros (in each of their individual ways)! Our 12 year old, who is very cerebral and articulate in his views, picked his 4-year-old sister up and walked over to the mother. He then clearly and unapologetically said, "It's Ok, that blond little girl, standing next to the lotto machine, is very incorrect! You are not 'stupid' or 'ugly'. You are beautiful!"
Next, was our 3-year-old daughter, who is a spit-fire. She was sitting in the grocery cart. She began shaking her finger at the 'unrepentive' blond-girl, "You leave my sis-tur alone".
Then came our athletic 8-year-old son. His chest puffed up, fist clenched, eyes and head going side-to-side, trying to keep him self calm.
The situation was quickly resolved. We experienced a funny drive home pretending to be a bear, a lion, and a tiger; growling at 'UnKind' people. The kids laughed heatedly at one another's different ways they coverd their 4-year-old sister's back.
What a powerful message the kids created that day. "I got your back", has been rolling over and over in my mind ever since that day.
As parents of 'sometimes' difficult kiddos, we spend soo much time in disciplining and trying to get our kids to 'Get It', that we miss a very simple and powerful message.
"I Got Your Back" - Translated: You are Worth Immense Value. I will lay down my rights for you. I love you with all of my heart, mind, and physical being! You CAN count of me!
It is love in action! It is safety put into ways that we all can grasp.
I really want to hear ways all of you create this in your children's lives.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Keeper of Memories
I decided a few months ago to spend some time writing down memories for one of my adopted daughters. I was preparing to go on a trip and getting everything in order, when I had a thought. If anything happened to me, all of my memories would be inaccessible to my daughter. She’s a curious girl of eight, a question-asker. And I enjoy answering her inquiries about what happened when she was a baby and how her first mom loved her and how I felt when I met her. But there is a lot I leave out- things that need to be saved until she’s older. Adult things. Things that my husband will forget- has forgotten already. Things that will be explained by her bio-family perhaps, one day, that may be tainted by their own memories, defenses and interpretations of events. And although that’s okay, I also want her to hear my memories as well. The way she looked the first time I met her, her little ways of sweetness, and yes, the adult things too. The things that she has a right to know about one day. The “Why’s.” So I wrote it all down to be kept in the safe with the other important papers. So that if “anything happens to me,” and she comes to a point of investigation in her life, she can read my words and hear my heart and understand how much I love her.
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