New Book Club Book

Next week we will be starting the book, "Attaching in Adoption," by Deborah Gray. Call Carol to find out how to participate. 1-888-298-7562

Check The Calendars Before the Summer is Gone!

This time of year we start to think about all of the summer plans that probably won't get done, and try to squeeze in a few before it's too late. (Or as one of our friends, Penny, said, "This is the part of the summer when I decide that I'm a fan of year-round school." ) This last week I decided that I really did have to clean out the closets, organize the last remaining weekends, and plan one last trip.

Make sure to remember Fiesta events in your end-of-summer scheduling. I don't know about you, but I get that burned-out feeling about now. Too much free time or fun time can be hard on a family. Take the opportunity to get re-charged by being with other adoptive families, whether in deep conversation, an informative workshop, or a relaxing time at the lake. Regions 3 and 5 are both having movie nights next week, and during the first weeks of August, several parent chat groups and classes will be meeting across the state. Bring your fishing poles to the lake on August 14 for a region 4 activity, or run up to Gallup for ice cream on the 21st. If you're in the East Mountains, watch for events starting in your area, beginning with a pool party on August 22. Click the orange web address under the Twitter information to the left to navigate to our website to see all of the details for your area. And if you have an idea, or want more information on your particular region, give a call to any family contact...we'd love to talk to you!

The Legend of the Starfish

I decided to post this story, as our family contacts sometimes refer to it. It has a special place in our hearts. Last December, Wendy passed out some little starfish ornaments along with this story, which has become a kind of motto for us, "It matters to this one." Donna hung hers on her van mirror and , copy-cat that I am, I decided to put mine in my van as well. Over the summer, though, my starfish has lost a couple of extremities and has started to look a little tacky. Not wanting to be "un-cool" I reached up yesterday to take him down...when it hit me- this little guy was perfect for me! He may have a couple of limbs gone and be pretty beat-up, but it still matters to this one. He might not be pretty but he's MY starfish.

Carol

A vacationing businessman was walking along a beach when he saw a young boy.
Along the shore were many starfish that had been washed up by the tide and were sure to die before the tide returned.
The boy walked slowly along the shore and occasionally reached down and tossed the beached starfish back into the ocean.
The businessman, hoping to teach the boy a little lesson in common sense, walked up to the boy and said, "I have been watching what you are doing, son.
You have a good heart, and I know you mean well, but do you realize how many beaches there are around here and how many starfish are dying on every beach every day. Surely such an industrious and kind hearted boy such as yourself could find something better to do with your time.
Do you really think that what you are doing is going to make a difference?"
The boy looked up at the man, and then he looked down at a starfish by his feet. He picked up the starfish, and as he gently tossed it back into the ocean, he said, "It makes a difference to that one”. -Author Unknown

Surprise!!

As strange as it sounds, adoption can be a surprise. Some of us have come into the world of adoption by “accident”, maybe as a whim, an impulse, a family crisis, or a change in situation. A nephew needs a home. A foster child stays just a day too long and becomes “mine.” You notice that endearing newspaper picture and say, “Why not?”
Even if your adoption was one of planning and agonizingly slow, there are surprises. I know a family who spend time and money adopting a child from far away- a "perfect, healthy baby". A few months after he moved into his new family, he had a stroke, causing severe brain damage, and their lives have changed. Our friend, John Chimarusti talks about the fact that we can experience several different emotions at the same time- joy over a new child and pain over the things they have suffered, pride over our child's accomplishments and grief because they are not the ones we expected. We have dreams and ideas about where our lives are going and then we realize that this child of ours needs to be homeschooled or can’t tolerate crowds or makes embarrassing scenes every time we go out in public. Life has changed. You look in the mirror and say, “How in the world did I get here?" It can be hard to adjust. What have your surprises been and how have you handled them?