The term “felt safety” is one that’s become familiar to us at Fiesta. We’ve learned that whether or not a child is truly safe is not the only thing to consider as an adoptive parent. The most important thing is whether or not the child herself feels safe. The same is true with parents. At least it is with me.
I’m a little shy. I’m fine around people that I know well, but put me in a room full of strangers and I have to work on my social skills. Going to an event or party composed of people that I don’t know is not an option I prefer- I’d rather go with a friend. I don’t like the feeling of walking into a room, seeing eyes turn toward me, and not seeing a friendly face. I don’t like feeling like an outsider.
So it struck me the other day how safe it feels at Fiesta events. I love how parents have gotten to know each other and have made close friendships in our groups, but here’s what I love more- when someone walks into one of our events for the first time, they know that they are among friends. It’s a safe place. No one raises an eyebrow if a parent admits that they don’t always like their kid. No one gasps when you share that your kindergartener was expelled or that your four-year-old pulls their hair out. If your teen is a little quirky or your ten-year-old still tries to climb into your bed at night, we get it. Not only do we get it, but another parent has usually had the same issue and may have a strategy for your situation. No one is there to look over your shoulder or criticize.
So if you’ve read about one of our trainings or get-togethers and decided instead to stay home, think again. Not only will you and your kids benefit from meeting other adoptive families, you may have some great answers for another parents who is struggling. And if you’re like me and you’re wary of new situations, come anyway. As soon as you walk in, you’re one of us.
