One of our talented, amazing FIESTA parents shared a version of the letter she created with the help of Adoptive Families magazine to give to her child's teacher... I love this idea and thought some of you might too...
Dear Teacher,
We are so excited to begin a new school year with you! I wanted to make certain you know that our family was formed through adoption, since it may come up in discussion this year in your class. Sammy also has a brother/sister adopted/not adopted from (type of adoption). In the coming weeks I would like to provide you some terrific educational resources about adoption in general, positive adoption language and attachment issues, which many adopted children face. Today, I am sending you a sample Q & As that may help you with responses to questions about adoption from kids in the classroom, should they arise. Sammy understands that her adoption story is hers, and only hers to share in the classroom if she wishes.
Background on Type of Adoption
Sammy was adopted (type of adoption) in (place, country) at age ( ), Sammy has a closed/semi-open/open adoption, meaning (define and briefly describe details of contact naming any birth parents that the child might bring up at school).
Here are some questions you may hear in the classroom, with appropriate answers suggested.
Q: Where are Sammy's real parent(s)?
A: Sammy's real parents are the parents who are raising her, (insert name-s). She also has birthparents or first parents who gave birth to her. Optional expansion: Sammy has two sets of “real” parent(s). Her birthparents are real, as she was born to them. Her adoptive parent(s) are real, as they are raising her and she is their daughter.
Q: Did it cost a lot to adopt her?
A: This is like asking how much your parents paid for the doctor and hospital when you were born. In adoption, there are other costs involved, like fees for social work professionals and attorneys to cover the legal and social work involved in completing an adoption.
Q: Why didn’t her first family want her? Didn’t they love her?
A: They love her very much, but they couldn’t take care of her and keep her safe. Sammy needed to be raised by a family that would keep her safe, love her and could take care of her forever. Adoptions always happen for grownup reasons, and are never the result of anything a child does.
We want you, our child’s teacher, to know that we believe that families are created through love, respect, and caring and not solely through genetic connections. Thank you for helping us communicate this to Sammy's classmates. Please feel free to call or email me if you have any questions. As the school year progresses we can speak in detail on more specific issues.
Best,
Sammy's Mom and Dad
Names & Cell Phone
ENCLOSURE: FAMILY PHOTO
