I love Dr. Purvis and all of the great training that comes
out of TCU. I watch as many as I
can get my hands on, as many times as I can. I learn something every time and I
know that putting her wisdom and research into practice in my own family has
made a huge difference in the health of our relationships. Even though I admit
to being a Purvis groupie, I was not prepared to be blown away by the latest
release from TCU, “Attachment- Why it Matters.” It is two dvd’s worth of information that brought the
three of us in the room to tears and there were constant choruses of, “Ohhhh…”
and “Wow…” You Have Got To See These DVDs!
Packed full of inspiring quotes, neurological research, and
explanations by T. Berry Brazelton, Dr. Joshua Sparrow, Dr. Purvis, Dr. David
Cross, and Dr Dan Siegel, this training is now my all-time favorite and I can’t
wait to watch it again and share it with families I know. Here are a few things
that stood out to me-
The four different types of attachment that we learn about
in babies and children are the same types of attachment that stay with us
through life. If we had early experiences that compromised our attachment,
those same experiences flavor all of our future relationships. The really good news about that is that
we have the ability to change it in ourselves and in our kids. It takes work,
intention and the courage to look within ourselves, but when we make the
decision to take on our past hurts and take the responsibility to change- we
can!
And not only can we change our own style of attachment and
relationships, but by doing so, we automatically change our kids. And listen- this is so cool- we are not
only changing their behavior, we are changing their biology! We are actually
bringing their brains into alignment with our own and actually, truly changing
their brains, making them, in effect, our “biological children.” Not children
we have given birth to, but children who are ours biologically through
neurology that is in synch with ours.
There is a whole section on reading our kids’ cues,
ruptures and repairs, and mindfulness. When we blow it and say or do something
that damages our relationship with our child, we need to apologize and repair
the harm. The thing is- this actually makes the relationship stronger than it
was! So “mistakes are not terminal, failure to make a repair is terminal.” This
is huge for me, because I sure make a lot of mistakes. Mindfulness can help us
tune in to our child’s cues. According to research, a really good parent
catches about 50% of their child’s cues. Being aware of what our child is
communicating through behavior and subtleties is how we help them. Teaching
ourselves to be calm when our child is “going primal,” is life changing.
We, at Fiesta, are so excited about this series, we
ordered enough to show it throughout the state. Watch the calendar to make sure
you catch it when it comes near you. I can’t wait for you to see it!
