When our kids are difficult, snarky, super challenging or - dare I say it?- raging, about the last thing we want to do is have fun with them. Fun- what's that? In our heart-of-hearts we'd probably rather be about a million miles away.
But does that solve the problem? No. As their parents, we still have to work through their behaviors and their acting-out, and at the same time that we're raising our "children of trauma," re-build their childhoods with memory-making fun activities.
It's up to us to show our children what CAN be, what fun is.
They need us to build memories with them. Memories of camping and Wet 'N Wild, and blowing bubbles in the back yard, wrestling with the dog, planting tomatoes, and smearing icing all over the counter when we make those chocolate cupcakes.
I've got seven kids- six adopted- and heaven knows I've made my fair share of mistakes while raising them. I learned as I want along, so I didn't usually make the same mistake twice. But the mistake that I truly grieve is letting my snarkiest kid get away with "killing" the family fun. That was SO unfair to him.
(Yes, I said to Him)
If I had it to do over, I would have drug him along on the usual family outings, and if he needed to be on the periphery, scowling, while the rest of the family had fun, so be it. At least he would have had the OPPORTUNITY for fun, would have seen what fun looks like; the rest of the family would have had fun : and with his flair for editing and re-writing the past, I can imagine that by now, as a 20+ year old he will have written himself into the memories.
We aim- during Fiesta training child care- to give your child fun, educational experiences. Our trained therapeutic child care providers will do their best to make the hours together pleasant and memory making. You will have fun, too. Join us for our next fun event!
Phyllis Wood Radtke
