As a Mamma to five kids- three biological, who were all born into a loving and supportive environment and two sweet blessings who are originally from Ethiopia, I have firsthand knowledge of how kids behave differently in a number of situations based on their history.
No one escapes a trauma as significant as a
separation from a birth parent without causing trauma. Our bodies
respond from the trauma by means of coping or dissociating. Coping.
As a Fiesta Family Contact, I sometimes receive very
panicked calls from families struggling with the
kids they dearly love. These kids, just like my own, have been in a
stable environment for several years yet there is very little peace in the
home. Their behaviors ebb and flow just like all kids but the contrast is
evident. The inability to cope with change. The need to hoard food. The
perpetual insecurities that plague their little hearts. The need to never be
alone; or, always looking to tune-out. They need structure, routine and grace. It
requires a parenting style that is different and often seems illogical.
And yet, in the midst of the constantly changing
mystery of therapeutic parenting, there are tiny victories. As years of
stability begin to wrap around their bodies- their bodies are telling
them it is ok to let that guard down. And they do so, slowly. Remember
our kids are always healing and growing. You are changing the trajectory of
their lives, by allowing them the time and patience to go through this grief. As
we transition back to school, remember to keep your schedule mellow and
calm so that they have space in their lives to process through their
trauma. One day, one hour, and one conversation at a time!
*Sarah Sanchez *505-681-3364
For updated info check out my blog at SanchezSeven.wordpress.com
