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Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Does My Child Have "RAD?"


In preparing for adoption, most parents are frightened when they come across the list of symptoms for Reactive Attachment Disorder. They hope and pray that the child they end up with isn’t one of “those kids.” It can sound like a horror movie- a child who wants control at all costs, manipulates, lies, steals, pulls the dog’s tail, or hides entire meals under her mattress. Most of us don’t know if we’re prepared to parent a child with such a scary diagnosis.
The truth is, adoption always involves loss. Even in the best of circumstances, there is trauma for the child. And let’s face it- most adopted kids experience more than their share. Trauma for a child is going to affect the trust they have in the world. “Can the adults in my life meet my needs and keep me safe, or do I have to fend for myself?” This trauma can translate into compromised attachment leading to behavior challenges. Like many disorders (think, ADHD) attachment issues operate more along a spectrum than an absolute. Although full-blown “RAD” is rare, most of our kids will struggle with the effects of their trauma, including a compromised ability to form secure attachments. An adoptive parent needs to realize that their child’s trauma and loss can affect behavior in many ways and we need to become skilled in reading our child’s behavior as a second language so that we can help them heal.
Whether or not your child ends up with a diagnosis of RAD or other challenges, there is hope. The NM Fiesta Project was created to support adoptive parents throughout the state. Visit our website at nmfiestaproject.org to find out more.
Carol Gloetzner

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