Free Bowling!!!

Kids under 15 can bowl free this summer- 2 games a day at various places throughout the country. Go to kidsbowlfree.com and check it out.

Have you ever "lost it" with your child?

This morning, my five-year-old got angry because he couldn't find his pants, so he grabbed handfuls of clothes out of his cupboard and tossed them around his room- again (clothes that I had washed, dried and folded- this is all about me). I'd like to say that I reacted by not reacting, but I can't. I had a fit to match his- again. I love what Evonne shared on her Book Club post about these situations- the times that we "blow it" as parents, feel overwhelmed with guilt, but also want our child to learn the right lessons....

"When we behave badly as parents it is still important to keep the issue focused so that while we are sincerely and without excuse, seeking forgiveness for our own inappropriate behavior we are also standing firm concerning our child's disobedience or disrespect. Otherwise the message the child remembers is not that even adults must apologize and that she is still responsible for her wrongful behavior, but rather, "Mom really lost it and I must have been right all along". This can be very tricky because we do not want to excuse ourselves. Our apology must be clean without any sense that we are saying that our child "caused' it. She did not. If a child gets the idea that she can divert attention away from her behavior by inciting a parent to lose control and thereby take responsibility for the whole "Big Deal" then the lessons are lost. A parent's apology does not dilute or absolve a child from the consequences of her disobedience or disrespect. The parental temptation is to wipe everyone's slate clean and start over another day usually with the grief of our behavior coloring many of our parenting decisions for days. Meanwhile our child skips merrily along with the wrong lessons learned or she sulks and is strengthened in a wrong understanding of life." Evonne Harden.

Thanks, Evonne- I needed that. To read more, visit our book club on Face Book groups- NM Fiesta Book Club.

Carol

Mapquest This!!

Directions to Book Club!!

Look at your Face Book page. Focus your little eyes to the left of the screen just below your adorable profile pic. There are a list of options, the last of which is "Groups". It's just under "Games." (Hey! I didn't know there were Games here!) Click "Groups," if you're already a member, and NM Fiesta Book Club will appear with a new picture of a beach scene. Click. Right under the words "NM Fiesta Book Club" there will be a line of blue boxes. Click, "discussions." You can choose between three topics, "Twenty Things," and "More Than a Mom" are book discussions. If you'd like to join in, post at the bottom, after scrolling, reading, scrolling, reading, until it says, "reply". If you are not already a member, type "NM Fiesta Book Club" in the "search" box at the top of your home page. It will open to the same awesome ocean scene (my family :) Click "join group" and follow the directions above...click "discussions" and proceed.

EAST MOUNTAIN TRAUMA TRAINING

Sunday, May 16, 2010

1 to 6 pm @ 'The Moriarty Civic Center'

"INTENTIONAL RE-PARENTING"
-NEUROBIOLOGY OF TRAUMA
- DISCIPLINE VS. PUNISHMENT
- USING THE 5 SENSES TO HEAL
-COMING ALONGSIDE ANGER
-AVOIDING POWERSTRUGGLES
-THE HEALING POWER OF PLAY AND IMANGINATION
-WHAT TO DO WITH LYING
-& MUCH MORE!!!

Lunch, CHILD CARE, & Training Hrs Provided

Please Call Monica @ 505-235-7261 to reserve your spot!!!

Happy Mother's Day

As an adoptive mom, Mother’s Day has an underlying layer of meaning. It brings to mind the women who carry a baby for nine months, suffering morning sickness, feeling that first little flutter of movement, gaining an amazing amount of weight while losing an amazing amount of energy, going into the pain of labor, and giving birth to a precious little miracle…. and then, for one reason or another, needs to sacrifice the title of “mom” and give it to another.

Among the crowd of people in my home on Sunday, the hugs and homemade gifts, I received two phone calls from two extraordinary women. My friend, J, is in her 50’s, a widow. Over thirty years ago, she became pregnant and decided to place her baby girl with an adoptive family. Her story is similar to so many during that time, overshadowed with shame and punctuated with callousness from those around her. She has worked through that grief and although she has not been able to have contact with the daughter she loves, and has no other children, she has peace. It has been a blessing to my children to have her in their lives as part of our put-together family of “aunts and uncles.” The little ones in my family, all adopted, are as priceless to her as she is to them. We can wish each other “Happy Mother’s Day” with great understanding. What an honor!

My other special phone call has come every year. Mama Jenna, who gave birth to two of my children, called to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and tell me how much she appreciates me. I can think of no more gracious act. On this day, her name on the caller ID alone brings me to tears. Oh, how she loves her babies! I’m am so deeply humbled by this selfless gift, that I strive to parent these two little ones as not only “my children” but hers as well. It is a privilege that I take seriously and I will do well if I live up to half of what she imagines me to be.

To these two precious sisters of mine- I am honored to know you, I am moved by your pain, I am humbled by your love and I wish you a Happy Mother’s Day.

DEMING & LAS CRUCES

LIFE BOOK Training w/ Kristi Cullers

"When pieces of their lives are missing"

This Friday in Deming, May 7th @ the Literacy Center

(6 t0 9 pm)

This Saturday in Las Cruces, May 8th @ The SW Sports & Spine Center

(12 to 3 pm)

Child Care & Lunch Providede!

Pls call Monica @ 505-235-7261, Reservations are Recommended