Have you ever "lost it" with your child?

This morning, my five-year-old got angry because he couldn't find his pants, so he grabbed handfuls of clothes out of his cupboard and tossed them around his room- again (clothes that I had washed, dried and folded- this is all about me). I'd like to say that I reacted by not reacting, but I can't. I had a fit to match his- again. I love what Evonne shared on her Book Club post about these situations- the times that we "blow it" as parents, feel overwhelmed with guilt, but also want our child to learn the right lessons....

"When we behave badly as parents it is still important to keep the issue focused so that while we are sincerely and without excuse, seeking forgiveness for our own inappropriate behavior we are also standing firm concerning our child's disobedience or disrespect. Otherwise the message the child remembers is not that even adults must apologize and that she is still responsible for her wrongful behavior, but rather, "Mom really lost it and I must have been right all along". This can be very tricky because we do not want to excuse ourselves. Our apology must be clean without any sense that we are saying that our child "caused' it. She did not. If a child gets the idea that she can divert attention away from her behavior by inciting a parent to lose control and thereby take responsibility for the whole "Big Deal" then the lessons are lost. A parent's apology does not dilute or absolve a child from the consequences of her disobedience or disrespect. The parental temptation is to wipe everyone's slate clean and start over another day usually with the grief of our behavior coloring many of our parenting decisions for days. Meanwhile our child skips merrily along with the wrong lessons learned or she sulks and is strengthened in a wrong understanding of life." Evonne Harden.

Thanks, Evonne- I needed that. To read more, visit our book club on Face Book groups- NM Fiesta Book Club.

Carol

Mapquest This!!

Directions to Book Club!!

Look at your Face Book page. Focus your little eyes to the left of the screen just below your adorable profile pic. There are a list of options, the last of which is "Groups". It's just under "Games." (Hey! I didn't know there were Games here!) Click "Groups," if you're already a member, and NM Fiesta Book Club will appear with a new picture of a beach scene. Click. Right under the words "NM Fiesta Book Club" there will be a line of blue boxes. Click, "discussions." You can choose between three topics, "Twenty Things," and "More Than a Mom" are book discussions. If you'd like to join in, post at the bottom, after scrolling, reading, scrolling, reading, until it says, "reply". If you are not already a member, type "NM Fiesta Book Club" in the "search" box at the top of your home page. It will open to the same awesome ocean scene (my family :) Click "join group" and follow the directions above...click "discussions" and proceed.