Letter from a Parent

This morning I recieved an email from a hopeful adoptive parent who participates in FIESTA. She gave me permission to share it with our readers because I think it is important for our staff to know the impact we have on families and for families to know about the assistance we offer.



I wanted to share a recent experience with you about my life and how things have changed recently. I am a mom to 6 absolutely amazing children. Each one of them has a story that will bring tears to your eyes. Each is a survivor and has magnificent qualities about them. Each child has stolen my heart and I am blessed to know and love each one of them.
Growing a family through adoption can be difficult. There are many things that I was not aware of when I began this journey. I am learning new things every day. One thing that has come to light in my life is that typical parenting does not work with all children. My mother’s parenting does not work with most of my children. I am the inventor of my own techniques with each of my children and sometimes what worked yesterday may not work today.
We have two children who were diagnosed with RAD – Reactive Attachment Disorder. Our oldest has been displaying increasingly defiant behaviors, and as she works to become stronger in her ability to utilize her “survivor strengths,” I have felt as if I am becoming decreasing unable to parent her successfully. I have been tired and overwhelmed. I have been sad and felt alienated. I have worked hard and given much yet felt as if things were only getting worse.
I signed up for a lifelong commitment to my child. She is mine, born to be mine, loved with every fiber in me and I was not giving up!
I looked to traditional therapy, Attachment therapy, different parenting models, books and blogs. Along the way we made changes in all areas of our lives. Each time we hoped that this would be the answer, that we would see progress- less lying and manipulation and more connection and affection.
It has been a long road and I am so grateful to have the support of friends and family and my Fiesta team. I have always believed in building a village to help you raise your children. I think it is important to gather people in your circle who will hold you up when you are feeling down, speak in truth when you need to hear it and love you no matter what. That is exactly what I have found.
Now for the first time in a long time I feel like I am getting the help I need with my child. Traci Tippett is currently working with my kiddo and there has been a dramatic change – let me clarify that. I feel less stress, more confidence and totally supported. My child continues to have behaviors and we continue to work through them but my heart is light and I am excited to move to the next level of living life!
This morning Traci attended a meeting with me at my child’s school. It was at 745 and scheduled with little notice. She made herself available to help explain the things we our family is dealing with and the need for school support. She helped me be successful in dealing with the school – while respecting me and my position as the parent. I was not alone – trying to explain why my ever so sweet child needed a behavioral intervention plan. There was only one of 6 teachers present for various reasons but that was not a barrier because Traci said we will go back as many times as we need to – to see all of the teachers!
I am so grateful for this program and for the support of those involved with Fiesta and am so excited to share things I am learning.

Name withheld due to confidentiality...