Coffee and Chat

I haven’t been to a “Coffee and Chat” (formerly known as a support group) for a couple of months, so I went yesterday. It was fun to see how many people showed up. Word must be getting out. The atmosphere in the group is amazing- there is a spirit of acceptance, fun, and the camaraderie of people who understand each other’s difficulties and joys. Some of the group have established, close relationships, but you don’t feel excluded. Rather, you feel as if you've been invited to join the club. One young couple is awaiting their first placement, three families just finalized their adoptions last month, there were several families, like mine, who have several children in various situations, and a seasoned veteran (it was an honor to meet her) who has one daughter almost grown.
This is an informal, friendly group and although the topic was “Holiday Stress,” we mostly talked about things that were on our minds during this season. We talked about the sorrow of having a child absent during this time due to hospitalization. There is sadness in missing someone you love, relief that help is coming for them, and concern, because you need to face that your child’s problem’s are bigger than you had hoped. We discussed services like the DD Waiver, sensory disfunction, mental health legislation, and what to look for and how to find a good therapist. Several recommendations were given for therapists who understand adoption. We talked about difficult behaviors that come about when a child is starting to attach to his caregiver and the best ways to deal with stealing, lying, and rage. We laughed a lot, drank coffee, and shared funny “kid stories.” The two hours flew by and most people stayed to join their kids in putting gift bags together for kids at a local shelter.
Here’s your invitation to participate. There are groups like this one all over the state. Times are listed on the website. There is free childcare and the kids get to hang out with other adoptees. Maybe it sounds like your family is going through similar challenges. Just being with friends who understand is a big help. If not, and your family is going through a season of calm, please come to let other families share in your wisdom and success. And if you are thinking about adoption or waiting for a child, your family will benefit from starting to gain understanding and build a foundation and strategies for success. We’ll save you a chair.