Have you had anything like this happen? Last year I got a call from a school social worker because apparently, I had been depriving my child of food as a discipline. Yep. My sweetie went to school and told her teacher that she wasn’t allowed to eat lunch that day because she hadn’t done the dishes the night before. Well, that was kind of, a little bit, maybe a teeny amount, based on an actual story. What had happened was that, because my sweetie had refused to help clean up after dinner, we said that instead of buying school lunch (which said sweet-one enjoys), she/he would have to take a "peanut butter and nothing sandwich" and an apple. Somehow that lunch never made it to school, but the story did.
Then there was the year when my darling went to school on a Monday. When the teacher asked about her weekend, my darling said, “Well, my dad was in jail and my mom wanted to watch tv, so I spent the weekend taking care of the kids.” Ok, no truth in that one at all, just for the record.
What’s a mother to do? In both of my situations, I was spared incarceration because I had a good relationship with the teacher and they asked me before calling the authorities. But sometimes that’s not so easy to do, especially in the higher grades or in situations where the child is endearing and convincing. So here’s my dilemma- should I tell the teacher up front that my child has issues and tells lies? Won’t that prejudice the teacher against my sweet one from the start, labeling him/her as a “bad kid”? And how much should I tell about personal stories and RAD problems? Am I violating my child’s trust? I remember one IEP where I went to great lengths to print out information about attachment and my child’s particular issues, along with suggested strategies, only to have the entire team completely ignore it. Then what?