A Little Word on Subsidies

Aodopting some of my kids felt like winning a new car. “You mean I get to keep it? Forever? It’s mine? No payments?” But a couple of the adoption packages have come with a financial piece. It’s like winning the car and then finding out that you get free gas, as well. Talking about money makes me uncomfortable. The fact that when I adopted some of my kids, they came with a stipend, makes me uncomfortable. But here’s the truth for many of us- “I didn’t adopt them for the money, but I couldn’t have managed without it.” I wouldn’t have been able to stay home as much; I have no idea how I would have attended all of the doctor/therapy/school/clinic appointments; going on vacation, even a low-budget one would have been impossible. I would have adopted them anyway- we would have managed somehow. But I’m thankful that the money is there to give them more of my time and energy. After all, this isn’t a new car that I’ve won. This one has gone a long time without an oil-change and it’s been in a crash or two.

So here I am. I’m grateful for the stipend, but I really don’t think about it much. I get a statement in the mail and file it with the others in case I need to take out a loan. Otherwise, it’s just in the budget and it will be there forever. Right? Not so much. These children of mine are growing up at their own pace. While my bio’s hit 18 ready to fly, these youngsters will take their time. I know this. I’m fine with it. I understand that they will need my continued support in many ways when they hit adulthood. As their needs may increase (college, cars, apartments, mistakes) the subsidy will not and I will still be the parent. Someone in Santa Fe told me once that they were amazed at the number of people who call and say, “My kid turns 18 next month! What am I going to do? How am I going to do this without the money? My kid isn’t even out of high school yet!” It’s like they look at the calendar one day and realize that they may be in trouble. The person on the other end of the phone isn’t going to listen to the story and say, “Oh, I see. Let’s just keep your subsidy coming for another year or two. You let us know when you don’t need it anymore.” As parents, we need to realize that and plan ahead for it. It’s our kids’ money, after all, and we need to make sure we budget it wisely. Because this isn’t a car at all, is it?