Book Club II

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Want Their Adoptive Parents to Know
Book Club session II, Chapters 3 and 4

I’ve been telling people that I think I’ve developed adult onset ADHD and here is one proof. I am currently reading six books at once. Now, I’m a reader, but I usually stick to one or two at a time. One of the books I’ve been reading along with this one is called, "The Art of Helping…What to Say and Do When Someone is Hurting", by Lauren Briggs. I highly recommend it and it is a good companion to this book. Many of us are so uncomfortable around suffering, afraid to say the wrong thing, afraid maybe to address our own pain, that we avoid the very ones who need us the most. Staying alongside our child in his grief, instead of trying to make everything better with a quick hug and a cookie, is what is required.
So here are some things to think about from chapters 3 and 4.

1. Did you have a romanticized view of adoption when you first started the process? If so, how has that changed?
2. Is the term “special needs” overused? Offensive? Are you comfortable giving your child this label? Is it a blessing or a curse?
3. How do you feel about your child’s losses? Does profound loss ever go away?

I loved the section on meeting needs. The lists are so specific and ring so true, that I feel like laminating them and reading them every day. In my busy-ness, I assume that my children must know how much I value them and I don’t verbalize it nearly enough. Now that I think about it, that is also true for all of the people I love.
Please let me know what you think.
Carol